See, I don’t like waiting until the new year. What’s the point? Why’s it have to be the new year for you to change? It sounds like a big excuse to procrastinate to me. You have about as much chance of quitting smoking now as you do any other time if you put in the same amount of effort, you know?

Like I said, I do personality growth checklists because I’ve never quite been that fond of myself, and so with each year I go through and see how much better I am at dealing with people, internal emotions and so on. If anything it’s more out of curiosity than a wish to get better, because I’m not actually trying. It just happens! Like magic! Woosh! And with this year, it certainly seems like something’s been going on with me. I’ve gotten more tenacious with goals and less nervous about screwing things up. The butterflies that used to haunt the pit of my stomach when I so much as had to stand up in front of a class for two minutes and talk about a poster have mysteriously departed. My fears that someone out there is laughing at my many mistakes have evolved into playful indifference. The irony of it all is that this has happened over the course of the year and a half I’ve been quarantined from the rest of the world.

The main reason I have not set resolutions for this upcoming year is mainly because it’s something of a promise. Anyone who knows me well enough is aware that I hate broken promises. I take them very seriously. Once you make it, that’s it, I’m sticking it to you until you’ve done it. I already have enough high expectations for myself, and while I do have goals, they are not something I can guarantee myself; instead, they are simply things I would like to do this upcoming year. At the risk of contradicting myself, here is a portion of that list:

• Accept my admission into college with the support of my parents and attend this fall.
• Save money to buy a good laptop and a car, and stow the rest away for room and board.
• Obtain my driver’s license.
• Win some extra scholarships for college.
• Figure out my violin!
• Just generally be able to fend for myself instead of relying on mom and dad for everything.

Man… go figure, Christmas passes by and suddenly the world outside is so bright it hurts my eyes. And to think that yesterday felt like autumn again. I would be much more appreciative of the beauty of snow if I did not have to go outside and shovel it off our deck so the dogs can do their business!

I mentioned that I would post a present that I gave to my friend because its progress was rather amusing. It’s a digital painting that I spent about 11 hours on. The first is the original drawing with the color tones set and basic shades down, and then the second is the finished product. It’s amazing what you can do with a computer these days. I’m quite proud of it. I’ve slapped a watermark on the second one since it was a present and I’m a bit paranoid, but you should still be able to see the details fine.

I’ve been a bit lazy with website stuff lately and have mostly been focused on work. I began register training yesterday and today was my first day ringing up customers all day long. I have to say, I really like working for the company I do, everyone there is very kind and helpful. Hopefully I won’t do something so utterly stupid that they’ll have to fire me, because I know I have it good when I see it, man! If anything, it’s just the 20 minute break I get when working six hours or less that’s frustrating. My back doesn’t agree that 20 minutes is long enough for sitting!

Ah well, I’ll get used to it, eh?

Other than that, I’ve been watching my new Sweeney Todd DVD repeatedly since Christmas Day (today marked the eighth time) and I’ve come to the conclusion that everything is Anthony’s fault. Anthony brought Sweeney over, Anthony busted in when Sweeney was originally about to get his revenge, and flippin’ Anthony is the reason Johanna is sent to the madhouse. And don’t even get me started on Johanna. I love “Green Finch and Linnet Bird,” but the “I never had any dreams, only nightmares” line is ridiculous when the girl sits by the windowsill singing about how she wishes she can “sing and fly.” I’m pretty sure those count as dreams, dear.

Mom and I spent a good two hours wrapping gifts last night too. Usually we put ribbons on them to make them even more totally awesome looking, but this year we just put ribbons on the most extravagant presents as well as for the ones that would be going to people outside our most immediate family. I decided that my obnoxious frog’s time would be better spent at Nana’s house, who I am 99.9% sure will love him unconditionally and 100% sure that she will react the same way I did when I first saw it: “…What is that supposed to be?” He is even more deceptively wrapped in a shoe box. Poor Nana.

I am also noticing that the only time my art really gets better is around Christmas time, because I always draw something for Crystal. Always. And while I usually get bored with a drawing after awhile, the fact that it’s a Christmas gift kicks me into gear to finish it and do my level best to make it really nice. I also want to show you a small progress picture of it, because you’d never think the original thing I started with would turn out as it did; but I won’t do that until the 25th, just to taunt dear Crystal some more. It’ll probably amuse those who don’t really do much artsy stuff, but not so much to those who do.

Christmas also has my co-workers running around like mad, and the only reason I can attest to this is because I have been calling them every day for the past five consecutive days in pursuit of my seemingly nonexistent schedule. Every time I call, I swear, the calls themselves get shorter! Today I called my manager to find out if it has materialized yet, and he told me that he’d have the girl who does schedules call me; only to find out ten minutes later from dad that they phoned before, directing me to call her. Thanks a lot, dad. e_e So now I am sitting here, wondering if I should wait for a call or harass my co-workers some more. I haven’t even stepped foot in it for almost a week now and I’m already annoying as hell. Woo! May just be a new record for me!

In any case, it’s now 2:03PM and I still haven’t eaten. My stomach craves eggs and juice, and that is what it shall get. I’ll post again on Christmas day with what will hopefully be a more thoughtful entry. Until then, I bid thee adieu!

I’ve been familiar with it for years. I joined back in 2004 and then quit later because my interest in maintaining websites waned, and well, you can’t be in the Quilting Bee without a website! But when I came back to my old hobby, I remembered the Quilting Bee and wanted to join again. Four years later, it still exists with even more features. I’ve been having nothing but fun for the past five months or so that I’ve been a bee. To be fair, I was a wallflower back then and didn’t participate in anything other than trading patches, which I also did not actively seek. I don’t think it’s easy to be a wallflower any more though, now that the community seems more close-knit and everyone there is as sweet as pie!

Which, really, the people there. They’re super nice and friendly, and make you feel right at home. Do you have any idea how incredibly rare it is to find a community that isn’t snobby or full of drama? I don’t know how it does it, the Quilting Bee must be magical. I just know it’s probably the nicest group of people I’ve ever met on the ‘net, which makes it even funner to participate in activities and the bee*bee*s because it’s all in good fun.

Speaking of which, the activities! I adore the activities, especially the contests based on entries because then I have the opportunity to trade my entry with others, meet new bees and swoon over their talents. There’s even a chance to earn a special patch and mushroom if enough bees like and vote for your entry, which is always an honor in itself. Plus, I love to pixel, so it’s especially fun for me!

All in all… you don’t have to be the most amazing pixel artist ever to step foot inside the Quilting Bee in order to have fun. If sharing laughs and a little of yourself with kind people sounds like fun to you, the Quilting Bee is the place to go!

All in all, my general not moving combined with four hours of being on my feet (in pinchy high heels bought at Wal-Mart, no less) while carrying various things around with me was quite a workout yesterday. It’s a wonder my toes weren’t crying red tears when I removed them, really. But, heels don’t break themselves in. Regardless of the immense discomfort of actually having to do Stuff That Matters, I still had a lot of fun, and it was a breakthrough too because we managed to find some nice straight-legged pants that actually fit me. Imagine that!

I of course mention my epic search for pants because I (dun duh duh dah!) had a job interview scheduled for today at a local supermarket and was desperately in need of pants that didn’t pose threats to my various insecurities. I actually ended up wearing my interview outfit to a Christmas party that my mom’s work threw before I even went to it, and was totally paranoid that I was going to leave with crumbs all over my face or something and not know until after the recruiter had a good five minutes to stare at it. That wasn’t the case though, and it was actually rather fun after we all introduced ourselves and dug into the food (oh lord the blueberry muffins and the bacon and the danishes - but more importantly, LDKSJFLKDSJF THE BLUEBERRY MUFFINS), there was a Christmas gift-off.

The Christmas gift-off was an activity where we all pick a number and then decide what to do: either open a present, or steal one from someone else that has already been opened, which means they have to go open another one. It was relatively boring until the stealing fest began… Guess who started it?

Oh yes. There was an old man who went before me and unwrapped this electronic sudoku thingamajig. I really liked it, and announced my plans to rid him of his marvelous new game at once. He dropped his head and handed over the prize before going back to the front of the room to unwrap another present. This time he gets a sort of embroidery kit, which he was also rid of in good time. I’m not really sure what he ended up getting stuck with, some sort of candle or Christmas tree decoration, I think. Someone spoke for everyone when they said, “I think you’ll be holdin’ on to that one, there!” Well, that’s the price for magic fingers.

Later on, a man took the sudoku puzzle game from me (gasp what no way) and so I had to go up and unwrap a present that time. It was difficult trying to see what it was at first, but it’s this obnoxious porcelain frog statue with a webbed foot on the back of its head and its lips pulled into a pucker. I’ve grown rather attached to it; it’s the first in my collection of Hideous Trinkets To Decorate My House With When I’m Old. After I finished showing the entire room my fabulous new gift that I would obviously be going home with, I set it down on the table and it fell over and everyone was like “OHHHHHHH!!!!” like it broke (me included). Thankfully, Mr. Frog there is unharmed and sitting in my windowsill, ready to bring in nightmares that my dreamcatcher is too lazy to filter.

The man who took the sudoku game from me got ready to leave just as it was dad’s turn, and he basically said “I hate to do this, but would you mind giving me that sudoku game there before you go? 8D” It was hilarious, because the guy gave my dad the game and then said “Hey, bring the sudoku game and I’ll see you Friday!” to one of his co-workers, hinting that he should steal it for him. I haven’t laughed so much in so long. In the end, dad did end up with the game and gave it to me, which was nice of him.

After the party, we still had to kill an hour and a half of time downtown, since we didn’t want to go back home just to drive back again for my interview. It was only my second job interview ever, but I have already learned two very important things about them:

1. The job interview is not nearly as stressful as the anticipation.
2. No matter how professional looking a recruiter appears, their personalities are not as severe.

Granted, I have only applied for entry-level jobs in customer service, but I spent days worrying my head off over an allotted 15 minutes that was never even vaguely uncomfortable. I think this one went well and that I might just have the job. Here’s to hoping.

The memory I’m thinking of happened back in the 1990’s when I was definitely younger than ten, probably six or seven. I was with my Nana at McDonalds and absolutely had to have their white tiger toy because it was the only one I hadn’t collected from their animal pack. When we were at the register, Nana asked if they could look for it, and the cashier happily obliged.

They didn’t have it.

The news broke my heart and my good mood. I remember screaming and crying because I just had to have that stupid little tiger, and then another guy had to come out and look with the cashier. But, they were right; no more in stock. “Sorry kid, want a panda instead?” (No, I did not.)

Looking back on it, I feel both ashamed and amused at the same time, because I can just imagine what the people behind the register must have been thinking. “What a brat,” for instance, though perhaps with dirtier words. I can’t help but wonder how many spitballs we ate that day because of my failed tiger hunt. I’m inclined to think we got our food before the tantrum, but that part of the memory is blurry. On the bright side, I’m certain I enjoyed my Happy Meal, despite getting a toy I already had. I do still like McDonalds, after all (although it is nothing compared to Arbys and Taco Bell, thank you very much. ;)).

Although, that reminds me. When I went to a McDonalds for lunch while my art class was on a trip to a museum, they wouldn’t let me have a Happy Meal because I was over their age limit. What, I’m not ten, so I’m not allowed to be happy? That, dear sir, is outrageous!

So… what’s up in Amber World, you might wonder? Are there any mushroom wars, new drawings or bitchy rants about books and movies waiting for you?

…Well, yes actually, but more on that later. What I’d really like to point is that, as of December 4th, I have been accepted for admission to RIT’s New Media Interactive Development program! I’m going to college! And go figure, I’m still unemployed. Not the best combination, but what the hell, fact of the matter is my years of just sitting here in front of the computer are over. Now I will be sitting in front of a computer two hours away from here and actually doing something productive with myself. Oh yeah, baby.

I’d have posted about it sooner, but I’ve been so bent on making sure my websites are in proper order that I wanted to save the news so I could report on as much good news at once as possible. I have smushed all of my good news together to create a sort of good news boulder, and all the better to crush your bones with. Unless you’re a mushroom, then I’ll just eat you.

Apart from getting into college, my long withstanding friend Kae has taken upon herself the harrowing task of hosting my overlarge website. My account on Surpass Hosting is actually due to expire in early to mid February, but I wanted to get everything moved as soon as possible so I could focus on getting a job and stay on top of school and scholarship updates. She has also taken in my hostees as her own. ♥ Moving here has actually been hell, though. Switching from servers means updating MySQL information and paths. And my nameservers took their sweet time propagating, so I had to fix everything based on what Kae and Crystal saw because they could see my website and I couldn’t. Sample conversation:

Kae (12:25:14 AM): Cannot connect to the database. Check your config file and try again. MySQL said: Access denied for user ‘ncmdrkrr_amber’@'localhost’ (using password: YES)
Amber (12:25:30 AM): jesus fucking christ you guys, I UPDATED IT
Amber (12:25:34 AM): /EVERYWHERE/
Amber (12:25:38 AM): RARLKJSLDJFLDSJFDSJFKDSJLF
Kae (12:25:51 AM): I have a theory.
Amber (12:25:55 AM): orly
Kae (12:26:19 AM): By moving onto my domain you are automatically instilled with MY BAD CODING LUCK!
Amber (12:26:30 AM): and here i’d thought it’d be sensical
Kae (12:26:43 AM): It makes perfect sense
Amber (12:26:53 AM): in hell
Kae (12:27:31 AM): Well, yes,
Amber (12:27:52 AM): i am officially grumpy
Kae (12:28:03 AM): Where else are database settings stored in this database? XD
Amber (12:28:05 AM): not only is there a problem, but i cannot see it
Kae (12:28:21 AM): The stupid leading the blind, this is grand XD
Amber (12:28:29 AM): XD
Amber (12:29:11 AM): well
Amber (12:29:15 AM): might as well fix fanupdate
Amber (12:29:36 AM): if you go to blog_options
Kae (12:29:37 AM): Do you want me to let you into my cpanel?
Amber (12:29:47 AM): LOL ARE YOU GETTING TIRED?
Kae (12:30:04 AM): NO BUT I’M SCARED SHITLESS I’M GOING TO BREAK IT! LULZ!

It was like trying to put eyeliner on without a mirror handy, but then I found I could peek at my website through the subdomain and fixed it that way. All should be well now, but if you spot something that says rain-dance.org, a page that has lost its styling or angry MySQL errors anywhere on the site, please don’t hesitate to notify me so that I can banish it from the universe.

What, you think that’s it? No such luck for you. There’s also a new archives section, and I’ve actually (gasp) added an article to the Stuff (formerly “Extras”) section. There’s more coming to that section soon, actually, but I want to flesh out my ideas more before I publish them. The about section has been redone, and I have also deleted like 20 entries that I found utterly boring and useless. I have also taken the liberty of updating the dickens out of my quilt and so now it should be pleasing on the eyes and easier to navigate…

Anyway, back to me, ME, the focus of this website! Mom found her stash of Stephen King books in the garage, and I’ve been devouring them. So far I finished Duma Key and Misery, and I adore both very, very much. I started reading Thinner two nights ago. Mom wants me to read IT, but her book is so old and worn out that I’m afraid I’ll open it and be assaulted by dust bunnies. It’s a Stephen King book, it could happen. Hell, he makes photographs and libraries scary (though I already hated libraries for their shushing librarians, their deadlines and their inability to have just what I needed).

I’ll go ahead and end this here, because this post is colossal. I hope it is slightly more amusing than my usual drones. XD

Soon afterward, mom came to pick me up for my appointment, which I have been rather vague about in this post; it was for contacts. I have anticipated this moment for years and used to badger my parents about it all the time, but it was only until recently that they were within my grasp. I managed to get in as soon as I entered, yay for slow days; and oh man, if there is any word, any word at all that can possibly describe my first encounter with contacts, it would be frustrating. I literally sat there for an hour trying to get those bastards in my eyeballs and I’m lucky that the lady who was observing me had so much patience. Both she and mom gave me demonstrations on how to put them in, and when I finally got them both in, another lady came over and said that I had to take them out. Apparently they’re not allowed to let clients leave the store until they’ve demonstrated that they can both put them in and take them out. You can imagine my irritation.

Fortunately, taking them out is far easier than putting them in, and then the eye doctor was able to see me. That was lucky too, because my vision seems to be a little bit blurry. The doctor said it was because my eyes aren’t “perfectly round” (this had me, my mom and the poor lady that was stuck observing me laughing our heads off) and also because I’m not used to them. My glasses seem so much sharper though…

I had to stand still as soon as I left the eye place because it was all so much to take in. I have worn glasses for ten years; I had forgotten what it felt like to have the wind sweep across my face without a shield, what it felt like to see everything without weight on my face. It all felt like I was seeing and experiencing everything for the first time, even the common noise of an automobile passing by seemed new, and I was so moved by the experience that I almost started crying. I’m glad I didn’t though, because my eyes were still really watery after all the poking I did to them and my complexion really couldn’t afford anymore blotches.

Mom and I went to the grocery store afterward, since we needed to buy something for dinner and she didn’t want to spend anymore money at Taco Bell for awhile (blast their delicious chalupas!) and I came too so that I could marvel at boxes depicting food with my newly found sense of sight. We found something relatively easy to make and, just as we were heading out, I spotted Chris, who graduated high school the year before I did. This is the kid who introduced me to Hellsing, DN Angel and Petshop of Horrors, so you can imagine my initial excitement. Our reunion went something like this:

Me: Chris?
Chris: Amber?
Us: *hug!*
Me: How are you?
Chris: Good, you?!
Me: I’m fine!
Chris: I work in a soup kitchen now, so I’m greasy.
Me: Ohhh.
Chris: Well, have a good one!
Me: You too!
*parting of ways*

It was really kind of sad, because I thought of asking him for contact details and decided it was better not to in a split second. I wish I could remember the reasoning behind that decision, but maybe it was better this way. After all, if we didn’t have anything more to say then, what would I possibly want to talk to him about later?

So then mom and I locate and head towards the car, and she comments that the interaction between Chris and I was extremely awkward. Just as we’re about to get in the car, some random guy with a pot belly and a beard calls, “HEY! HOW ARE THE CONTACTS?!” from behind us and I replied “FINE!” before asking mom, “How does he know about the contacts?” I originally deduced that he had been in the waiting room and witnessed the fail that was my first experience with contacts, but it turns out that he works with my dad. “Well, that was awkward,” I mimicked, and we both laughed as mom pulled into the highway.

Today was a good day.

The largest complaints appear to be social life, that the people that are attending it are generally pasty antisocial freaks that enjoy staring at their shoelaces, are glued to their computers and would rather watch anime and play video games than go to a party and/or be social.

And here all I’m thinking is, “OH MY GOD, I WOULD FIT IN SO WELL THERE!!!”

This is great and all, but what does this have to do with pointy forks in China?

I understand your opinion, but I don’t agree with it. I think it will take more time for me to ease into that view, but I’ll tolerate you for now.

Great review! Next time focus on something more awesome, like Transformers.

These are just what I remember and aren’t direct quotes, because I deleted them after the 20 minutes or so I spent laughing at them. I mean, really? Luckily, Akismet came out with an update today, so it should do its job better. Or at least, I hope so!

Otherwise, I’m on a major job hunt like woah. Also, this is the beginning of my college preparations here. I have my eye on a private university and, as I constantly pester friends about it, I feel like I have a good chance of getting in. Still intimidating as hell, but we’ll see. I have to make a portfolio and everything, so this should be interesting.